


Conversation Hearts

by corneroffandom



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:41:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29491464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corneroffandom/pseuds/corneroffandom
Summary: Dean finds a way to say what needs to be said.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 10
Kudos: 40





	Conversation Hearts

Dean frowns, looking at the blurb on his phone, reminding him with garish ads and bold letters. _Valentine's Day! Buy your loved one their heart's desires before it's too late!_ He grimaces, not even sure what to do. If Cas would _want_ anything, or honestly care that much about Valentine's Day. _But,_ the voice in the back of Dean's mind reminds him, _it's your first Valentine's Day after his return, and you_ want _to do something for him, don't you?_

He knows the answer to that easily enough. Of course he does, but it's complicated. A weird situation all around. They haven't even _talked_ about before, when the Empty took Cas, and Dean's life was shattered, barely running on autopilot long enough to defeat Chuck. He still barely remembers the actual fight, being bait for Jack to do what he needed to do. Words have never been Dean's strong suit, and every time he sees Cas now, they lodge in his throat, reminding him again of his inability to do anything, even the simplest thing, to make Cas happy.

But maybe that's the problem, the last time Cas found happiness in loving Dean, he'd been taken away before Dean could even process it and Dean had spent weeks, months, thinking he'd never see him again. That again, his love had taken someone away permanently. _What if it happens again?_ he thinks, picking at the side of the laptop he's trying to research at. _What... what if I do say it, and he..._

Dean closes his eyes, shakes his head. "It won't happen again," he mumbles, viciously swiping at the touchpad to move away from the page with the obnoxious Valentine's Day ads. "Chuck's not in control any longer."

He quickly loses his will to sit still and slams the laptop shut, finding his keys and taking leave of the bunker. A quick drive around in Baby leads him to a local Walmart and he finds himself browsing around, trying to ignore the pink and red displays all over. He buys some beer, a pie from the bakery department, and he stares down at the subs in the deli, thinking about supper, when he turns to take the few things he's grabbed to the cashier, considering just driving around a little longer when something stops him. A small display of purple catches his eye, and he sighs, kneading his forehead with trembling knuckles. "Fine," he mumbles, adding a couple of extra things to the pile.

Once back in the car, he taps his thumbs anxiously against the steering wheel but this time, when he begins driving, it takes him easily back to the bunker. He leans back against the seat and stares blankly into the garage, shaking his head. "Dammit," he mumbles, turning the car off and getting out.

The bunker seems empty at first, but as soon as he gets to the bottom of the steps, he realizes Cas is sitting at the table, looking at ease with everything around him. "Hey, Cas, what are you doing?" he wonders, digging his hands into his pants pocket while he waits for a response.

"Hello Dean," Cas says with a small smile. "I suppose just thinking," he continues when he realizes Dean is still waiting for an answer. He spreads his hands out to show there's nothing in them, he's simply just... sitting there.

Dean stares at hiim, waiting for him to specify, or say _anything,_ but he quietly looks back at Dean. "Alrighty then," he finally says. "...Mind some company, or is this a solo project?" he wonders.

"You're always welcome, Dean. You know that," Cas says softly, and Dean swallows hard.

They haven't discussed _it_ since Cas' return from the Empty, but it hangs over them every day anyway. Sometimes, the things Cas says, laced with so much affection and adoration that it sends Dean stumbling, reminding him all over again how thoroughly Cas had been willing to sacrifice himself and _why._ It always chokes him up, leaving him staring in horror...

"Are you alright?" Cas asks, his eyes so deep and sincere, lips twisting downward as Dean freezes right there in the doorway.

"Oh, uh. Yeah," he finally manages, walking forward and taking a seat across from Cas. "Are- are you?" It's awkward, he's never been great at showing concern, it somehow always coming out a little brusque and angry, but he's _trying._ God, he's trying so hard to be better in so many different ways.

Cas smiles at him. "I'm fine, Dean." Freshly human, recently freed from the Empty when the last of his grace just... drifted away entirely while floating in the nothingness, which had made it easier for Jack to convince the Empty to release him. He had wanted this, he insists whenever Dean questions him about it, a soft look on his face that's always done strange things to Dean's insides.

Dean nods. Rubs his hands over the surface of the table, swallows hard. "Um. Hey, I..." He falters. "I bought something," he finally rushes to say. "Maybe... maybe you'd like to try it."

Cas quirks an eyebrow at him, then smiles. "Is it more... Valentine's Day candy?" he wonders. Between Sam and Dean, they've been offering Cas various foods to try, to figure out what he likes and doesn't like now that he's a human. Marshmallow hearts covered in chocolate? Incredible. Cinnamon imperials? A little strong for his new tastebuds. Fruit cream filled chocolates? Some are good, some are not.

"Actually," Dean breathes out. "It is." He reaches into the bag sitting in front of him on the table and rummages before he pulls out the boxes. "Conversation hearts," he explains when Cas stares at them in confusion. "They have little messages on them. You can, you can uh, eat them, or give them to someone around Valentine's Day. It's a silly tradition, but you know. Whatever."

Cas nods, slowly fitting his thumb under the slit to open the box, and Dean watches as he fumbles about a minute, finally pouring some of the heart shaped candies into his palm. He frowns down at them, then looks up. "They feel rough," he says, brushing his fingertips over one.

"Wait till you taste it," Dean laughs, watching as Cas immediately sticks one in his mouth.

He pauses and makes a face. "Dean, the texture is like... like chalk? Perhaps. Why would anyone willingly eat this every year when there are so many other options out there?"

Dean shrugs. "Wait until I introduce you to candy corn, buddy," he says with a bark of laughter, reaching over to clap Cas on the shoulder. It's such an instinctive action that he barely realizes he's doing it until it's done, both of them freezing for a second until Dean slowly slips his hand away, struggling to breathe.

Cas decides to take it easy on him, apparently, before he turns his focus back onto the hearts, reading through them with an incredulous smile on his face as he mouths some of them out. "The things you humans think of to do for these little holidays," Cas murmurs.

"Yeah," Dean sighs. Something about the way Cas says _you humans_ eats at him, like he still separates himself from everyone else, and... yeah, understandable, but it still bugs Dean just a little. He would never want to take away Cas' identity as an angel, but he had hoped some of that disconnect would ease, especially now. He stares down at the little messages on the hearts and once more begins to doubt himself, his gameplan for this.

"Dean?" Cas asks quietly. "Are you... alright?" His eyes are piercing blue, searching Dean's face when he looks up and their gazes meet.

"Yeah, yeah," he says slowly. "I just... uh." He fumbles with the candy box he'd opened while Cas was distracted with his own. "I have something for you."

Cas frowns. "Dean, that wasn't necessary-" His words die away when Dean touches him, presses his hand against Cas'. "Dean..."

"Trust me, Cas," Dean mumbles, staring at him intently. "It absolutely is necessary. Shoulda been done a long time ago, really. I'm not... not good with words, though. So I... this is all I could think of." He parts his fingers and something small drops into Cas' open palm, time ticking slowly as Dean awkwardly eases away from Cas and stares down at the candies he'd scattered on the table, trying to find just the right one.

He feels more than sees when Cas registers the message, its meaning. "Dean," he chokes out, staring at the almost faded lettering on the candy. " _Dean._ "

The candy in his palm reads, simply, _I'm Yours._

Dean closes his eyes, thinking it's sorely inadequate for _everything_ Cas deserves to be told, the explanation of the last decade or more of Dean's feelings, how hard it had been every time he left, every time he died, everything that went wrong between them. But all he can do is sit there and think about how messed up all of this is, how Cas has probably realized he could do so much better since returning to the Empty, and-

"Dean!" Cas exclaims, finally curling his fingers around Dean's jaw and holding on to him until he slowly turns to look at him. They stare at each other for long, tense moments, and Cas has tears in his eyes, close to dripping down his face like they had that night, and Dean's feeling like he's about to hyperventilate, the fear that the Empty will reappear, something, _anything_ will go wrong, eating at him, but then Cas leans forward and grips his hand, dropping something into his palm and retreating slowly as Dean curls his fingers around it for safe keeping, his eyes locked on Dean's face when he opens his hand.

Dean swallows hard and looks closer at the candy before glancing back at Cas. "What-"

Cas doesn't even let him get the word out, just leans in and cradles his face once more, searching his eyes briefly before pressing a careful kiss to his lips. Neither notice when Dean's hand hits the side of the table, and the candy drops next to the one Dean had given Cas, its message just visible in the overhead lights as Dean drags him closer and kisses him back.

_At Last._


End file.
